She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
