HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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