Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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