hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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