Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
