would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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