just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
