I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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