16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
