I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize