I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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