Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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