I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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