i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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