you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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