I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
