just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
