i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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