I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
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