Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy

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(510): View more from California

i wonder if she has dreads down there too...

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(760): View more from California

fuck your aforementioned shoe

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(954): View more from Florida

I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

..i think i can hear you losing your virginity

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(831): View more from California

high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.

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(518): View more from New York

He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.

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(647): View more from Ontario

The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.

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(310): View more from California

Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.

(310): View more from California

Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.

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