haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just sent this text using only my big toe
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho