Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons. http://tfl.nu/mi7s
  Replies (12) Good night (5738) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed http://tfl.nu/k1m0
  Replies (19) Good night (4683) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech http://tfl.nu/je9d
  Replies (19) Good night (4034) Bad night (1711)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

  (917): View more from New York City

  Those had pot in them

  (917): View more from New York City

  And good luck on your interview asshole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you (917): Those had pot in them (917): And good luck on your interview asshole http://tfl.nu/911g
  Replies (51) Good night (17383) Bad night (1584)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on. http://tfl.nu/kzav
  Replies (4) Good night (1184) Bad night (4848)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs http://tfl.nu/z2xs
  Replies (2) Good night (1177) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?! http://tfl.nu/3uuq
  Replies (19) Good night (1282) Bad night (3676)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus. http://tfl.nu/vafe
  Replies (5) Good night (4752) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession http://tfl.nu/yu57
  Replies (5) Good night (2342) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life? http://tfl.nu/shks
  Replies (11) Good night (757) Bad night (2981)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing. http://tfl.nu/bjii
  Replies (24) Good night (946) Bad night (2511)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am http://tfl.nu/d51l
  Replies (6) Good night (1683) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again http://tfl.nu/54xi
  Replies (5) Good night (1306) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION. http://tfl.nu/audf
  Replies (3) Good night (1352) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014 http://tfl.nu/95c1
  Replies (6) Good night (429) Bad night (812)

Randomize