Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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