508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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