o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
