Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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