it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
