I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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