Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
