im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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