Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
