After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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