Will you blow on my dice?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
