she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
