you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
