I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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