i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
