I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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