Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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