i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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