All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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