Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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