OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
