she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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