3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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