now i know why i became what i already was.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
