He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
