Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize