Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
