one might say we're banned from that church
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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