You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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