Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
