I could have mohawked her pubes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
