under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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