i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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