Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
