i think my mom watched the whole time
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
