And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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