yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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