I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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