watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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