Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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