I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
