We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
