I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
